Valentine’s Day is the day we celebrate love and friendship. It’s already been months since stores have been decorated in bright red hearts and cartoon characters and they’re showing no signs of slowing down.
Now that we’re just days away, I wanted to focus on other ways we could show our loved ones how we feel about them. I spoke to Sexologist and Relationship Expert Nikki Goldstein who shared some fun tips and ideas for not just the big day, but every day.
February 14th definitely is not the only day we can appreciate our loved ones, especially when gifts are concerned. Instead of feeling pressured about getting the perfect present, Nikki suggests focusing on the bigger picture. “Instead of something that you just picked up at the shops why not try giving a thoughtful experience or making a gesture that shows you care. This might mean something as simple as making their favorite meal or doing something they have been asking for a while or even a picnic or activity. Anything that shows them thought has gone into your actions.”
Not everyone will have a traditional date this Sunday but that shouldn’t deter single ladies from partying it up with their gal pals. Nikki suggests, “Single gals should be celebrate a different type of love. It’s a day for love, but there are no rules as to who that love is between. Why not get a close group of friends together and celebrate your friendship, a different type of love. You might also want to celebrate that you don’t have the hassle of worrying what to do/ get someone or the anticipation of potentially being let down. Being single on Valentine’s Day sometimes is the easier status sometimes. “
A good gift you can give yourself is a copy of Nikki’s book #singlebutdating: 10 Steps to a More Dateable You. “Work on self confidence and self worth, she said. “There is lot of advice I can give but it all needs to start with you. I see so many woman out there who are dating because they feel they need the validation for someone in order to feel worthy. This is a dangerous state and can leave someone in a toxic relationships, feeling as though they can’t get out or settling for men that are not treating them well. When you can stand on your own two feet as a woman, you are able to date because you click with someone and get along with them, not because you feel you need their attention. This is where we misunderstand the ‘be mean keep them keen’ attitude. It’s not a matter of being mean, it’s a matter of having enough respect for yourself that you would not entertain anyone who doesn’t have the same respect for you in return.”
As a fellow career woman, Nikki expressed how important it is to make time for ourselves and for dating. “I am a career woman and I work hard but I also know that my job at the end of the day won’t hug me or won’t be there for me when I need it. It’s important that we balance work, life, sex, relationships and love. It’s important for woman to have a career these days and to feel empowered but love and sex are basic human desires that make us feel good and connected to someone. They have the power also to help us in our careers when we feel supported and know we have a special someone by our side. It’s important to know how to have both but if you do have a demanding job ensure you date people who understand that and its importance in your life. My best tip to the work/life/dating balance is don’t feel like you have to have everything completed before you go out on a date or do something fun for yourself. Sometimes you just have to stop, say yes and realize that break or that date might boost your mood and in turn make you more productive when you do pick things back up. A happy dating life can be a great tool to work success and a busy work schedule can be a great distraction from a man we shouldn’t be calling and texting all the time. “