I was asked by a reader how to deal with domestic violence via Twitter recently. This is a very serious topic that I do not take lightly. Domestic violence has become such an epidemic in our society. We are reading more cases of women being abused now than in past years. In answering the question of how to deal with domestic violence, my first response is to leave. Any person looking in from the outside would say to leave. However, I understand through the question of how to deal with domestic violence, that leaving may not be an option. In dealing with domestic violence, I would advise that you deal with the root of the problem. You have to question why you would accept such behavior. You have an accountability to yourself of what you will allow people to do in your life. We have the choice to accept what we want from others. You have to question why you accepted that first push, tug, slap, or punch. Contrary to what you have been told or what you feel, that is not love. Love protects, respects, and encourages.
Understand that this is not coming from a place of judgment but honest love and concern. You cannot receive or understand true love if you do not have it for yourself. Get around people who will not judge your situation but does everything too encourage, inspire and bring you back to your true self. Recognize that you deserve so much more. You are worthy of so much more. Your life has more meaning than being the doormat of someone’s deep rooted frustrations and mean spirit. Above all, realize that you cannot love someone to change. We are all responsible for our own actions. No matter what you do, you cannot change the heart of another person. That is a journey that they must walk alone.
I urge you to get a true support system. If you would rather not include family, contact a domestic violence hotline. Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger than people you know. All you have to do is reach out and someone will take your hand to help. Please realize that you are a beautiful woman who has the power and courage to change your life. It begins with a choice within you. Dealing with domestic violence is serious and your life is even more precious. Please know that you are supported by a sisterhood of women who want nothing but the best for you. I desire nothing but great things for you but you have to want better for yourself as well. Please choose life. Love, Loren. xoxo
