8 Signs You're Haunted by Ghosts of Relationships Past
Emotional baggage is obtained from unique life experiences, traumas, and failed relationships. The breakdown of past relations holds valuable lessons and helps guide you to understand what you want and need in a life partner. So, how do you know when the ghosts of your failed relationships are haunting you and meddling with your present dating life? Read on to find out.
1. An Inability to Trust
Most people have experienced cheating in a previous relationship. An inability to trust new partners can be a significant sign that the ghosts of a past relationship are tampering with your future connections. Delve into your past and pinpoint the experiences that have affected your ability to trust. Reflect on why the relationship broke down, what you learned from it, heal, and then let it go.
If you haven't seen it yet, watch Ghosts of Girlfriends Past where Matthew McConaughey has to delve into his past relationships to understand his serial womanizing ways.
2. You Expect Relationships to Fail
Your mind is a powerful tool. Successful people generally share a positive and opportunist outlook on life. They believe in themselves, which is half the battle to achieving everything you want in life. The opposite is also true. If you're a pessimist and expect the worst in life, it's likely what you'll keep attracting. If you fixate on your relationships failing, you're subconsciously inviting negative energy into your love life. Your subconscious mind will continuously be looking for signs to the relationship is doomed. Before you jump back into the dating saddle, take time to heal and retrain your brain. Try saying and thinking nothing negative for 24 hours, and watch your life change over time.
3. You Set Unrealistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations of your partner can cause major issues. You can't expect someone to come into your life and magically make you happy. You have to achieve a level of happiness and love for yourself alone first. Everyone is unique, and only you hold the answers for what will make you truly happy. Reread this paragraph.
4. You're Bitter
The most content people are those who move on from break-ups understanding why it didn't work. Once you reflect on why you were incompatible, you can forgive them (or yourself) and move on without bitterness or anger.
If your ex cheated on you, it doesn't mean every love prospect will. Don't make the mistake of tarnishing all future relationships with the ghosts of a cheated past. Stay woke to red flags, but learn to trust without the cheating ghosts haunting every connection you create.
5. You Fail to Recognize Repeat Behaviors
Some people are genuinely in touch with their higher being, giving them the ability to analyze and detect behavior patterns. If you keep finding yourself in toxic relationships, ask yourself why? Are you subconsciously going for the same type of personality over and over again? Are you somehow attracted to emotionally unavailable people? Once you identify patterns, you can better understand the lessons the universe is trying to teach you, get it, and move on.
If three or more people have pointed out behaviors that cause problems in your relationships, it's time to listen. Take time out to reflect and work on you.
6. You're Not on Talking Terms with any Ex-Partners
There is a fine line between love and hate. However, if you're not on talking terms with any of your ex-partners, ask yourself, why? Are you consistently blaming everyone but yourself for your failed relationships? The inability to look inwardly is one of the biggest killers of relationships. You can't go through life blaming everyone but yourself for everything that goes wrong. The same way everyone makes mistakes during their professional career, you'll make (or have made) mistakes in relationships too.
7. You Compare
If you find yourself constantly comparing your partners to exes who hurt you in the past, the problem is likely you. Everyone is different. Just because your ex displayed particular behaviors before cheating or walking out on you doesn't mean history will repeat itself. Stop comparing an utterly separate situation to a past experience.
8. Parental Influences
Like it or not, the relationship you watched your parents share growing up can dramatically influencer your adult relationships. Thankfully, my parents shared a beautiful marriage that taught me the true definition of love. If your parents experienced a turbulent relationship, consider the possibility that these experiences could be negatively impacting your current relationships. Once you delve deeper into your past, you can let it go and move on.