Life & Work

How to Love Someone Who Doesn't Know How to Love

how to love

Your heart and soul already whispered they were the one. No matter how difficult times get, something inside of you knows that you will never be able to let them go. So, here's how to love someone who keeps you at arm's length to protect themselves.

How to Love Someone Who Doesn't Know How to Love


Loving someone who doesn't know how to love can be harder to digest when they chased so tirelessly to win your heart and make you smile in the early days. People who don't know how to love often run from their emotions.

#1. Detach.

The first step here is to detach. The more you bombard your love with attention, the more they will pull away. You have to understand that they don't love you the same way that you love them, and no amount of chasing is going to change that.

#2. Learn to love yourself more.

People running away from love won't always make you their top priority, so you'll likely be spending a few canceled date nights alone. Use the time to learn to love yourself more. Focusing on yourself shifts some of the negative energy you're currently bottling up without perhaps even knowing it. Embrace your independence. Spend your time doing what makes you happy.

#3. Stop obsessing over how it used to be.

The relationship may have been magical in the early days, but things change. Focus on yourself.

#4. Make yourself your priority.

Your partner probably isn't staring at a wall waiting for you to call or text, so make yourself your priority. Go on adventures with your favorite ladies. Hit the gym. Be happy.

#5. Communication is key.

Expressing your emotions in a calm state rather than angry helps you release some of that heavy emotional weight you've been carrying around. You and your partner have to be able to communicate. It's not always easy, but we have to voice what's making us unhappy. If you've expressed your feelings multiple times and they've made no conscious effort to get their act together, it may be time to accept that they may not be the right person for you.

#6. Practice how to take things less personally.

If they genuinely love you but simply thrive in their solitude, or are currently juggling a lot of commitments, practice the art of not taking things personally. Discuss expectations on how frequently you should spend time together as a couple. Don't blame yourself for their absence of affection; some people don't know how to express their emotions. That's on them, not you. Differentiate between when they're busy and when they're just avoiding you, and call them out on the latter. Your happiness is your priority - it should be high on their list too.