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Funny Quotes On Dating By Comedians

Ever been on a bad date? It’s rough! Dating in general feels like an uphill battle. Meeting people and having personalities clash in any situation can be complicated, but especially when you’re trying to make some sort of connection. Dating can bring up a lot of feelings for different people, which is why it can be so much fun to listen to comedians rant and rave about dating. I mean, we’ve all been through it! Check out some quotes said by some great comedians on dating below. Let me know what you think!

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Photo Credit: s_bukley /

“It said if you’re not involved in one of these online dating services, you’re just gonna get left behind socially, you know. I’m not afraid to try something new, I’m not, so I signed up. Changed my life. I went from feeling pretty good about myself to feeling like a leper alone in a room typing.”- Ryan Hamilton

“I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.” – Russell Brand

“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” – Joan Rivers

“My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.” – Elayne Boosler

“You’ve got to be optimistic to be single. Stupid. You have to be stupid. That’s what optimistic means, you know? It means stupid. An optimist is somebody who goes, “Hey, maybe something nice will happen.” Why the fuck would anything nice happen?”- Louis CK

“I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.” – Dave Attell

“Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.”- Chelsea Handler


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